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You are here: Home / Survival / Health / 15 Ways To Wipe When The Toilet Paper Is Gone

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15 Ways To Wipe When The Toilet Paper Is Gone

By Alan Urban 107 Comments ✓ This post may contain affiliate links*

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Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

15 Ways To Wipe When The Toilet Paper Is Gone
Images via MK2010 / CC BY-SA 3.0 & SITS Girls / CC BY 2.0

It’s been said that toilet paper will be worth its weight in gold after the shit hits the fan. I don’t think this is far from the truth. Toilet paper is a modern luxury that people tend to take for granted until the moment they reach for it and find nothing but a cardboard roll. When that happens, they would gladly pay top dollar for a few squares.

You know you’ve been there. Of course, all you have to do is waddle around the house until you find some more toilet paper or at least some paper towels. But what if you don’t have anymore? What would you do then?

This is why it’s important to store plenty of toilet paper. But that’s not enough. What if the crisis lasts a long time and you run out? What if you have to abandon your home? What if your toilet paper is destroyed by flood or fire? In case that happens, you’ll need to consider some substitutes for toilet paper.

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Obvious Alternatives

1. Paper

We’ll get the most obvious one out of the way first. If you don’t have any toilet paper, just use another kind of paper. Paper towels, newspapers, phone books, notebook paper, printer paper, envelopes, etc. Look around the house and see what you can find.

Some people have suggested using books, but I have too much respect for books to recommend that. Maybe as a last resort, but first look for other options. This article contains instructions on how to make toilet paper out of paper you find around the house.

Stack Of Newspapers

2. Wipes

Before you start yanking paper out of your printer, wrack your brain and make sure you don’t have any wet wipes or baby wipes in the house. If you do, they make great toilet paper.

3. Kleenex

Again, this is just a reminder. I’d hate for you to be tearing up newspapers only to later realize there’s a perfectly good box of Kleenex on the bathroom counter. However, you might have to use several of them since they’re so thin.

Less Common Alternatives

4. Sponge

These were used in Roman times. When the people finished, they would wash the sponge with water and vinegar so they could reuse it later. But even if you do this, damp sponges are still breeding grounds for bacteria. If you go this route, you’ll need to either boil the sponge or soak it in bleach water before rinsing it out and using it again.

5. Rock

But not just any rock. You’ll have to find a smooth, flat (but not sharp) rock like the one in the picture (it’s not as big as it looks). With it, you can do what’s known as the “scrape method,” which was very popular in ancient societies. Stir the rock in some water to remove excess debris before scraping again.

Stack of Smooth Stones

6. Water

In many countries, toilet paper is unheard of, and instead, people wash with water. To do this, use a plastic cup or another pouring device. Fill it with warm water, pour it into your cupped left hand, and do the necessary cleaning.

Obviously, you’ll want to wash your hands thoroughly when you’re done. You could also use an irrigation bottle so you can spray the area clean without having to touch it as much.

Water

7. Cloth

This method is more accurately referred to as “family cloth” and is used by people who are trying to be as frugal and/or eco-friendly as possible. The idea is to use cloth rags to wipe yourself, then wash them afterward so you can continually reuse the fabric.

Soft fabric sourced from old flannel diapers or nightgowns works best for this, but you can also use towels, washcloths, or even old T-shirts. Whatever you chose, simply rip the fabric into suitable sizes and trim them with pinking shears to prevent fraying.

Used in connection with the water method mentioned above, this could be an effective way to get by without toilet paper indefinitely. Just make sure the fabric doesn’t accidentally get flushed down the toilet.

Instead, put it in a sealed container next to the toilet and once you have enough for a load of laundry, wash them. But don’t mix them with your regular laundry. (Here’s how to do laundry without power.)

Related Article: 50 Dirt-Cheap Items That Will Be Priceless After The Collapse

Cloth

Plant Leaves

If none of the above options are available, or if you have to bug out to the wilderness and use up all the toilet paper in your bag, you may have to turn to nature’s toilet paper: leaves.

8. Corn Husks

Because the pioneers grew and harvested so much corn, corn husks were one of their most popular toilet paper options. The leaves, when green, are relatively soft and a good size for bathroom or outhouse use. They can be dried for use during the winter months, and if that’s too rough you can always soak them in water to soften them again before use.

Corn Husks on Stalks

9. Maple Leaves

Specifically from the broadleaf maple. The leaves are large, don’t have irritable hairs, and are easily identifiable in the woods. Maples also produce an abundance of leaves, as anyone who has had to rake up after a maple tree can testify. Broadleaf and Sugar maples have the largest leaves, but in a pinch a mountain or vine maple could also be used, though the small leaves of these varieties would be awkward for an adult to use.

Maple Leaves

10. Mullein Leaves

This low growing, biennial plant flourishes in dry and sandy soils. Its leaves are a fair size and coated with a soft fuzz. The fuzz can be an irritant or a benefit, so use caution when using this plant and wash with water if irritation develops.

Mullein Leaves

11. Large Leaved Aster

Also known as “lumberjack toilet paper,” and for good reason. The large, smooth, heart-shaped leaves are perfect for wiping, and the plant can be found in abundance across the eastern United States and Canada.

Large Leaved Aster

12. Cottonwood Leaves

Specifically, the larger leaved variety. It has smooth leaves that would make the perfect emergency toilet paper. The leaves are a little on the tough side, so they won’t tear during wiping. Cottonwood also has a bit of an anti-pain effect, and the leaves can be used for things like emergency bandages as well.

Cottonwood Leaves

13. Bolted Lettuce

Finally, any garden plants with large smooth leaves can also work as emergency toilet paper. Bolted lettuce is a prime example. Once lettuce bolts it becomes too bitter to eat, but the leaves are large enough for most wiping purposes. But be careful which leaves you take from your garden. For example, squash plant leaves would be too irritating due to the hairs on them.

Bolted Lettuce

14. Hazelnut Leaves

Hazelnut also makes good emergency toilet paper, though they’re slightly on the small side. Also, they have a bit of fuzz on them which could potentially be irritating for people with sensitive skin. They’re very soft and completely non-toxic.

Hazelnut Leaves

15. Thimbleberry Leaves

These beautiful plants grow and flourish in damp areas, near streams, and next to drainage on mountainsides. Their exceptionally large and soft leaves make them ideal for emergency toilet paper. They’re also easy to identify from the large-toothed leaves, thimble-like fruit, and fair-sized white flowers.

Thimbleberry can be found in nearly any mountain region in North America. They die back in the winter but regrow from the root in the spring and summer.

Related Article: 7 Trees Every Survivalist Should Know

Thimbleberry Leaves

Warning – If you decide to use Thimbleberry leaves, make sure you’d able to identify its nasty look-alike, the dreaded Devil’s Club (seen below). This nasty plant flourishes in many of the same areas as the Thimbleberry and would be a nightmare to wipe with because it has thorns and is a severe irritant.

While the leaves of the two plants are very similar, Devil’s Club has thicker stems that are covered in sharp thorns, and the veins on its leaves are also lined with thorns.

Devil's Club
Devil’s Club – DON’T use this one!

There are several other types of leaves that could be used for toilet paper such as dandelion and hazelnut, but before you use them or any of the leaves mentioned above, make sure you have real-world experience identifying them in the wild.

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Up Next:

  • The Urban Survival Toilet
  • 20 Unusual Uses For Baking Soda
  • DIY Emergency Heater for $5
  • 50 Dirt-Cheap Items That Will Be Priceless After The Collapse
  • The Art Of Cooking With Leaves (Pics & Recipes Inside)

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Comments

  1. Greg Gory says

    July 21, 2020 at 8:21 pm

    I use sandpaper.

    Reply
  2. Nancy Towne says

    June 21, 2020 at 8:41 pm

    This might only be helpful in short term situations. I use a bedside commode due to medical reasons and I line the bucket with a plastic bag and add a small amount of cat litter.

    When no one is around to help empty it, this has been a life saver! I just toss it out with the regular trash like I do when I clean the cat litter box.
    I have a couple of bags of litter and a bunch of plastic bags set aside for this purpose.

    You can also use this when camping. Just use a 5 gallon bucket.

    A squirt bottle of warm soapy water helps too.

    Reply
  3. Desade_4 says

    June 20, 2020 at 4:55 am

    In the desert, Islam rwaches you to use your lef hand for wiping…and nothing else!

    And it is an INSULT to offer your left hand in a greeting/handshake!

    Reply
    • bob the builder says

      November 25, 2020 at 4:02 pm

      say if your left handed

      Reply
  4. Long says

    May 2, 2020 at 1:33 am

    Use the bidet for God’s sake. America is so behind in tech.

    Reply
    • Sharon says

      August 19, 2020 at 10:11 am

      That assumes water is in good supply! As disgusting as feces are cleansing is an important way to avoid disease. Stock up on mild hand soap & wet wipes. Even if the wet wipe dry out it is better than leaves!

      Reply
  5. Deb says

    April 13, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    Back in the ’60’s when I lived Down Under, I heard there were two Mormon missionaries in the outback and they used an Aussie catalog similar to a Sears catalog to wipe with. Well, they both got ink poisoning of the rectum! No joking 🙂 :/

    Reply
  6. carlman says

    April 12, 2020 at 12:29 pm

    Just to add to the conversation, squatting is most efficient for spreading your cheeks and minimizing the “mark off” . Every outdoorsman is familiar of how squatting in the woods can result in an almost paperless wipe.

    To do this in you bathroom, you will need to make elevated footrests, so when you squat your knees press into your lower abdomen. Thanks for all the tips dealing with no TP.

    Reply
    • Rory Borden says

      April 26, 2020 at 2:50 pm

      Leaves and a little bit of water will work for me.

      Reply
  7. Raul says

    April 1, 2020 at 1:11 pm

    I have lived in the South and Southwest. Two things are abundant, tree moss and corn cobs.
    Know as souhern toilet paper.

    Reply
  8. Ron Parriott says

    March 29, 2020 at 8:41 pm

    All these ideas will work as long as they are not flushed. The sewer line and sewage treatment plants cannot handle any paper but TP let alone the suggested leaves. Place these TP alternates in a lined trash can and dump it daily at least. In some places in the world this is standard procedure.

    Reply
  9. ROBERT KING says

    March 29, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    Military TP is like wax paper

    Reply
    • ANTHONY PATTI says

      July 10, 2020 at 4:42 pm

      No it is not. The government buys TP on the market just like the rest of us. There is no “military TP” nor are there “military condoms.”

      Reply
      • Bob says

        November 26, 2020 at 11:07 am

        Sorry Tony, you are mistaken. It’s made by a company called Outlook Nebraska under the brand name SKILCRAFT. As an added note, it only comes in single ply. There are 1,000 sheets per roll and comes in a case of 96 rolls. Part Number NSN6308728.

        Reply
  10. Harry Shmidlap says

    March 28, 2020 at 11:06 pm

    If money isn’t important but toilet paper is, go to the nearest bank and get 40- $1 dollar bills for 2- $20’s. I mean it’s only money, right?

    Reply
  11. Nana says

    March 22, 2020 at 10:09 am

    use hot water bottle with the hose enema attachment fill with warm water and little liquid soap hang on nail over tolet and like a bidet water pressure will do the job

    Reply
    • Nana says

      March 22, 2020 at 10:47 am

      the hose usually has a clip so you can shut off and turn on stream of water so you don’t make a mess

      Reply
  12. steve marino says

    March 16, 2020 at 12:04 am

    I’d like to see you shake a 5 gallon bucket filled with water and clothes. Water weighs 8 lbs a gallon. So figuring 40 lbs of water, plus the dry weight of the clothes and the bucket, we’re talking about 45-50 lbs. No way you are gonna shake that thang, mama.

    Reply
    • Diana Wills says

      March 18, 2020 at 8:44 am

      Could you put an adapter on a cordless drill and use it like a mixer to agitate the contents of the bucket?

      Reply
      • Helen says

        April 6, 2020 at 6:48 am

        Put laundry, soap and hot water in a 5 gallon bucket, cut a hole in the bucket lid about 3″ in diameter, buy a clean toilet plunger, put it in the bucket, handle through the hole and plunge away. It is an excellent washing machine.

        Reply
    • susan gooding says

      April 28, 2020 at 12:49 am

      Use a clean condom plunger up and down motion

      Reply
    • Jewell Woodward says

      May 11, 2020 at 7:37 am

      We could use our feet like they used to do crushing berries stomping them in a tub ,wash and rince in the same way then hang up to drip dry .

      Reply
  13. Itaintpunny says

    March 15, 2020 at 8:30 pm

    Sitting on the bowl
    And u ain’t got a roll
    U must prove ur a man
    By using your hand

    Reply
  14. Joel Malard says

    March 15, 2020 at 12:51 am

    I thought that all this bathroom hysteria was fake news until I walked tonight into a ravaged Safeway, and then a depleted Trader Joe’s.

    The explanation, I lays in the juxtaposition of symbols and archetypes, that is the object of semiotics.

    Hysteria is the expression of some unspoken fear, and the menu of our ancestral fears isn’t all that long, but paper rolls didn’t exist when our collective psyche took shape. so, which fear is it?

    Toilet paper doesn’t so much clean the body than it prevent the body from smelling; it is likely a metaphorical shroud, a shroud wrapped around the fear of stigma from sickness.

    Crazy? Maybe, but keep that image in mind the next time that you see a pair fighting over poopsy rolls at the store; I promise that it will change your experience.

    Source: “If people are fighting over bathroom paper rolls, why is the yogurt aisle full?” posted by me at Alfred Tarski Café.

    facebook.com/440425382666526/photos/rpp.440425382666526/3618560414852991/

    Reply
  15. Jim says

    March 12, 2020 at 5:44 pm

    If you consume a couple of glasses of POWDERED psyllium per day you almost don’t even need to wipe your butt. Seriously. Try it if you don’t believe me. A single square of TP will do the job for you.

    Reply
    • Vee says

      November 27, 2020 at 1:20 am

      Psyllium husk powder is very healthy for your colon (unflavored Metamucil). But if you aren’t used to taking it, you can get constipation or even severe impaction, so please start low & go slow. When I start using it, I start with about a quarter tsp in quarter cup of water, mix it as best as it mixes, chug it, then follow with about 1 cup water; increase every few days till I reach a teaspoon a day with about 1.5 cups water. That works for me. Others may need more (maybe take 2x/day?) or less. Can safely take 1 Tablespoon/ day if stools stay soft & slide out easily.

      Reply
  16. Elbert Jones says

    November 9, 2019 at 9:03 pm

    The old farmer’s almanac still has a hole drilled in it’s upper left corner. It’s there so you could hang it on an outhouse door.It has been published for 228 years. So it has probably been hung in many a farm’s outhouse.

    Reply
    • maho says

      March 13, 2020 at 1:22 pm

      as long as you aren’t flushing any of these down your toilet they might be ok, the whole reason toilet paper was invented was to help prevent all the clogging of toilets and septic systems that happened when people would use anything from newspaper to corn leaves, cloth and even straw to wipe themselves.

      Reply
  17. ernie says

    November 9, 2019 at 4:50 pm

    I have used a handful of snow too many times to count. Even sub zero snow can be packed a little and hold up enough to clean a butt but nice warmer snow can be packed into a more solid turd wiper. I live in Alaska and its free! There is also the added benefit of not polluting the ground with paper that seems to linger for years afterwards. Seen it, lived it, done that. So there, don’t be afraid of a little cold. The nether regions regain feeling shortly after you pull your pants back up.

    Reply
    • Pam Waffle says

      March 17, 2020 at 7:39 pm

      I like that. Use what you have locally. Here in the pacific nw, we have an abundance of tree moss. It’s moist, soft, antibacterial, biodegradable and absorbent.

      Reply
  18. Dan says

    August 23, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    A long necked plant watering can works quite well (Dollar store variety.
    Quite portable for camping.

    Just need a little something to dry off after, and not much, once one has their technique down.

    Discovered when I had an attack of ‘roids, when everything felt like #40 sandpaper.

    Reply
  19. Jennifer Davis Allen says

    July 16, 2019 at 11:12 am

    To be more considerate of our natural resources (ie trees to make paper) I have been using “toilet paper” made from strips of light weight white cotton fabric. White because it can be bleached and there are no dyes in the fabric which could irritate especially sensitive persons. I use a diaper pail to put my used wipes in until they’re washed. Of course if they have fecal matter on them I rinse them off before putting them in the pail. Does anyone else remember way back to before disposable diapers? When they were soiled with fecal matter, we’d rinse them off in the toilet water. Speaking of cloth diapers, I’ve used them to make both reusable sanitary napkins and incontinence pads. On the side which goes against the panties I sew a thin but durable plastic. Hold them in place using safety pins.

    Reply
    • Deb Garrett says

      April 13, 2020 at 10:11 pm

      Yeah, I raised my kids that way when I couldn’t afford disposable diapers. I would also tear up an old sheet into long squares to fit the diaper and fold them. When my boys pooped I would just take it and throw it away in the trash. Later they came out with diaper liners. Boy I coulda made a fortune if I would got them patented. lol!

      Reply
  20. TheSouthernNationalist says

    July 6, 2019 at 9:54 am

    They used 3 clam shells in the futuristic movie “Demolition Man”

    Reply
    • John says

      June 17, 2020 at 9:46 pm

      The clam shell when pushed activated a wash up

      Reply
  21. CM says

    April 3, 2019 at 11:31 pm

    A lot of comments saying to wash your butt.
    With water literally being the most important and maybe one of the most difficult items to get after an EMP, I guess you will at least die with a clean butt.

    Reply
    • Sharon says

      September 11, 2020 at 7:29 am

      I thought the same thing. Amazing how many people get off track with the actual issue.

      Reply
  22. L.J. says

    February 16, 2019 at 5:30 pm

    I have 4 things to say
    1. If your a girl and have to use paper, wet the paper first then wring out the paper.
    2. If and after you do step one then go through with a few dry papers.
    3. I got a paper cut on my buttocks.
    4. I clogged my toilet and don’t know what to do because my brothers friends are over and there is no plunger in this bathroom so I would have to go to the other upstairs bathroom and all of my brothers cute friends would know I clogged the toilet….. what should I do???

    Reply
    • Stinky says

      June 7, 2019 at 9:19 pm

      use your hand to get the big stuff up and mixing so it will go down then wash your hands real good

      Reply
    • BEN GREGO says

      August 3, 2019 at 10:41 am

      Easiest way to get rid of a ‘shit’clog……..I’ve done this before AND IT WORKS….

      GEt your regular dishwashing liquid…..and give the bottle a really hefty squirt into the toilet….wait about 10 to 20 minutes, then flush……it’ll all go down!!!!

      the detergent breaks down the surface tension of the water. whatever that is!!, and thus breaks everything else up with it.

      TRY IT AND SEE I PROMISE ITLL WORK….if you dont have dishwashing liquid, I’m thinking maybe just maybe shampoo would work?

      so try the detergent next time……YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT THE RESULTS!!!!!

      Reply
      • Wilma says

        April 5, 2020 at 7:33 pm

        OH Yeah! I have been using that technique for years! I buy the cheapest dishwasher just for that purpose! I have a stock in my toilet cabinet for emergency clogging!

        Reply
    • Citizen Mike says

      April 23, 2020 at 5:42 pm

      Flush the toilet before it gets full. Then if a lot of paper is used flush it a few times in between. Use some paper flush. Use some more paper flush again. (2). Buy a plunger.

      Reply
  23. Nick says

    January 23, 2019 at 2:09 am

    Your socks!

    Reply
  24. James Schroeder says

    January 8, 2019 at 4:38 pm

    If you still have a toilet and running water, consider installing a Bidet. They sell them on line now for as little as $30, and anyone can install one on an existing toilet in about 30 minutes. No need for toilet paper with one of these. All you need is a wash cloth to pat yourself dry afterward.

    Reply
  25. j says

    January 2, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    The KORAN?

    Reply
    • Marianne says

      March 2, 2020 at 11:07 am

      Yes, perfect.

      I have 5 perfectly good Holy Bibles I purchased at the Goodwill, one Mormon book, and 2 Holy Qur’ans.

      Reply
      • Ryan Laird says

        March 9, 2020 at 6:40 pm

        I’d take them back to the Goodwill….I’m sure someone could put them to better use than what you’re suggesting.

        Reply
      • Ryan Laird says

        March 9, 2020 at 6:40 pm

        I’d take them back to the Goodwill….I’m sure someone could put them to better use than what you’re suggesting.

        Reply
        • Deb says

          April 13, 2020 at 10:14 pm

          You guys are really bad…P.U.!!! you sick-o’s! lol

          Reply
  26. Stugots says

    December 30, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    The Army and Marines use sandpaper.

    Reply
    • Erykah says

      December 31, 2018 at 2:35 pm

      Yee Haa

      Reply
  27. Douglas says

    December 30, 2018 at 1:24 pm

    Poison Ivy, etc. all have three leaves, hence the old woodsman’s saying of, “Leaves of three, leave them be”.That is easy to remember.

    Reply
    • Jim says

      March 28, 2020 at 7:33 pm

      I was gonna say…remembering in Cambria CA 45 y ago, using a nearby three-leaved plant. Haven’t done it since. It’s the hard way to learn botany.

      Reply
  28. Mark says

    December 14, 2018 at 4:10 pm

    In an emergency more than 40+ years ago and miles away from public restrooms, I waded out in Galveston Bay did my number 2 and washed my hands when done. No one was the wiser and my number 2 had an unceremonious burial at sea.

    Reply
    • Spike says

      December 30, 2018 at 12:22 pm

      Bury it on dry land at least 5 m from any water source.
      1. You will fertilise the land
      2. You won’t pollute the the water and put marine life at risk nor contaminate the water for anyone using it for drinking water.
      Learn to wash with water. Easier and cleaner than any other method.

      Reply
  29. Angela says

    November 29, 2018 at 11:40 am

    I read all the comments and dont think anyone mentioned COIN TISSUES. They are compacted wipes that are not wet and they are the size of a nickel. When you pour a drop or two of water on it, the coin unfolds and makes a big wipe. You can get 500 for $31.00 on Walmart.com or Amazon.com. The bag they come in is about the size of a cantaloupe. They are boxed so you can stack them into tote boxes. That is what our family is going to use. I just buy several hundred dollars’ worth every so often. I carry them in my Get Home Bag now.

    Reply
    • Dave says

      March 15, 2020 at 7:55 pm

      Wisiwipes on eBay

      Reply
  30. Doug says

    October 10, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    I’ve had to use socks and dollar bills…emergency situations require emergency actions! Interesting read!

    Reply
    • Ms. P says

      November 17, 2018 at 2:49 am

      COFFEE FILTERS!!!!

      Reply
      • Rebecca King says

        February 14, 2020 at 6:49 pm

        Great idea! Going to add all my to short filters to my go bag!

        Reply
      • Borinh says

        March 2, 2020 at 12:57 pm

        But your coffee will taste like sh*t!

        Reply
        • Donald R Nachtigal says

          March 9, 2020 at 3:19 pm

          Duh! you are supposed to wash the coffee filter before you make your coffee…

          Reply
    • Stugots says

      December 30, 2018 at 2:16 pm

      Obama used the US Constitution to wipe his ass.

      Reply
      • Georgina says

        December 31, 2018 at 5:43 pm

        Liar liar pants on fire

        Reply
        • sour patch says

          January 16, 2019 at 1:18 am

          yet trump has shut down the goverment lol

          Reply
          • Buck Futz says

            January 18, 2019 at 7:14 pm

            It’s not within the presidents power to shut down the Government. Congress makes the budget…and they haven’t submitted one.

      • Rick says

        August 30, 2019 at 3:35 am

        And then there are asses like you that wiping won’t clean

        Reply
  31. Gail GF. says

    October 9, 2018 at 12:53 pm

    I have read most of the article and most of the replies so I realize this article is for dramatic measures when toilet paper is completely unavailability. But aside from that, for those of us that get caught in the local store bathrooms, and most probably have done this, and after we waited for someone to sander in so we could ask for their assistance, and they don’t, use the toilet seat covers. Drastic measures after that.

    Reply
    • Ed says

      November 22, 2018 at 9:54 pm

      Washing with water is fine but don’t wash in it as you will pollute it and it may have to be used for drinking. Do Not make a latrine within 100 feet of a creek river or lake for this reason.

      Reply
      • Spike says

        December 30, 2018 at 12:26 pm

        Exactly. People in rural Indonesia are being educated to wash their clothes well away from the river so as not to pollute the river.

        Reply
  32. SkiptheBS says

    July 30, 2018 at 7:26 pm

    DO NOT use poison ivy, poison oak, or poison sumac. Learn these plants.

    DO NOT use Spanish moss. It has chiggers/redbugs.

    Be careful of polluted water or wet leaves near waterways. Amebiasis and giardiasis are extremely painful intestinal infections.

    DO NOT store toilet paper in damp locations. Mildew/fungal infections in the lady parts are no fun at all.

    I vote for the spray bottle and family rags used carefully.

    Reply
    • ronald paugh says

      March 17, 2020 at 10:13 am

      my son used poison something
      when he was around 9 or 10 he was in a lot of pain for weeks

      Reply
  33. Dr.Pat Howden says

    June 6, 2018 at 2:01 am

    SHTF Toilets: waterless composting units of cheap recycled plastic save about 1/3rd household water use. Chemical toilet using Elsen – as I recall – was very effective, though urinating around our fruit tree drip-lines was very beneficial. Likewise our simple hole or trench in the ground never failed us for 33 years; plant a food tree when full, & dig another hole, like Aztecs, Mayans & Incas who often used old remains as crops fertilizer. We had a veranda emergency bucket rather than go out at night.
    The 1 to 2 meter-deep hole dug manually or by a powered borer – was topped by a cylinder upon which was mounted half of a tyre that had been cut in two around its tread circumference. This acted as a comfortable toilet seat, the cover of which was a bit of fibreboard. Or use a commercial folding toilet from Camping stores safely over the hole. Now such simple convenience was open to the elements but surrounded with sugar cane privacy; & dug in a few minutes, could last a couple for about 2 to 4 years, didn’t smell, no bugs or snakes normally found in sheds, sterilised by sun & rain, safe & hygienic with the best view in the house. Emergency toilet = trash bag taped inside home bowl. In case TSHTF, two 6-packs weekly we stock up massively on toilet roles (acquired about 100 so far), that are also cheaper than tissues.

    Reply
  34. Kamran Kureshi says

    May 13, 2018 at 12:01 pm

    What is with you westerners. Its YOUR scat which comes out of your precious innards, so whats this hangup of not wanting to use your hands-weird!. Despite the fact that we have muslim showers in our toilets, I always use my hands for a thorough cleanout. It’s a different matter when water is not available, one could then revert to toilet paper as an interim measure. Imagine wearing wooly pants over a still sticky paper wiped stinky arse! Hmmm..

    Reply
    • Sue says

      June 1, 2018 at 3:24 am

      What is it with people that can’t put their opinion without being rude about others? People do things differently. Different isn’t wrong. It’s nothing to be scared of. It’s just different.

      Reply
    • Gregger says

      December 23, 2018 at 12:28 pm

      This isn’t the 8th century, although I know it is hard to break old habits. Plenty of other wiping solutions before resorting to digits.

      Reply
      • Berto says

        February 11, 2019 at 10:04 am

        Using water and the washable left hand is far superior to the current crop of cheap toilet paper that falls apart during use and sticks to your parts. It isn’t the 8th Century; even with toilet paper most folks wash their hands after wiping anyway. If you have hemmorroids, water would be better than most substitutes for TP.

        Reply
  35. Lee says

    April 25, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    What do you do with it (newspaper, ect ) when your done?

    Reply
  36. Sandra Loubet says

    March 25, 2018 at 10:52 am

    You can get individually wrapped bamboo wash cloths, softer than velvet in beautiful colors wet them with warm water (before the deed is done) in the winter and wash them as you wash your hands, right away. In the summer rinse them with cool water and always wash them right away. Hang to dry like any towel and they’re always there, clean smelling, soft, and ready to use. Does a much better job cleaning us up and feels better than any kind of toilet paper or paper product. Take them camping, always wash them right away and store in a little plastic bag. Too many people actually grab poison ivy to wipe by accident. Better for the environment, saves a ton of money, better for the septic system or any sewer system. Kimberly Clark doubled their profits in 2004. About the same time a roll started to last a week instead of a month.

    Reply
  37. Lisa Millett says

    February 14, 2018 at 6:21 pm

    in this case u could also use a dedicated spray bottle for just water and this use.

    Reply
  38. Franklin Mirador says

    November 29, 2017 at 2:33 am

    Dried coconut husk works really good.

    Reply
  39. JanBo says

    April 21, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    If the sewer still work, never flush baby wipes- or any other wipes. They will clog your pipes like no one’s business.

    Reply
    • kc says

      February 6, 2018 at 1:43 pm

      This is true! My husband works for a local municipality in water and sewer and asked me to stop putting them in the toilet or he would make me look at pictures of what happens and what they have to do to clean them out of the system. (With a Rake)

      Reply
  40. Richard S says

    January 3, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    A detachable shower head in water jet mode. That does the job.

    Reply
    • Helen says

      January 7, 2019 at 11:56 am

      Yes, but make sure to clean the hose well with bleach water after every use.

      Reply
      • Johnny Poo says

        March 24, 2020 at 4:53 pm

        You don’t stick the shower head in your a$$, you put it in spraying range.

        Reply
        • laffingdukk says

          May 3, 2020 at 12:06 pm

          haha LMAO!

          Reply
  41. geminight says

    October 18, 2016 at 4:44 am

    DO NOT use Thimbleberry leaves near lady parts EVER. it will crate the worst irritation from the hairs on the leaves and the sugary leaves cause yeast infections.

    Reply
  42. bestdavid098@gmail.com says

    April 29, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    A much better solution is to get a Hand Bidet Sprayer and wash with water. Cleaner, greener, healthier, saves money and you never run out!

    Reply
  43. William Hamilton says

    April 25, 2016 at 10:37 pm

    Two items that were depended upon back during the depression are no longer available…The Sears Roebuck catalog and tissue paper used to wrap peaches for shipping.

    Reply
  44. Jim Terry says

    January 19, 2016 at 8:32 am

    I guess that will work if you have leaves growing in your bathroom.

    Reply
    • S Rombow says

      April 23, 2016 at 7:20 am

      You forgot the old mountain man method of drying out corn cobs for later use. After dry, you can soften the surface simply by rubbing them with your hands. The texture of the cob gives you lots of “traction” for removing the materal you want gone.

      Reply
    • S says

      September 24, 2016 at 9:15 am

      WHAT??? the point is that there WILL NOT be bathrooms available….toilets will not flush without backing up if your in an urban area. if in a rural area best case is an outhouse.

      Reply
      • Gordon D. says

        September 16, 2017 at 11:54 am

        LOL,LMAO,That’s well spoken or should say well written.

        Reply
    • Lisa says

      March 19, 2020 at 8:01 pm

      That was so funny!!!!

      Reply
  45. Steven Correa-Owensby says

    January 18, 2016 at 11:46 am

    As a Child, I have memories of being in need of TP while on fishing or camping trips, and have even used Pine Needles and, or the Bark off of Trees. Keep in mind, Drastic Measures call for Drastic Action. And in SHTF Scenarios, Anything that wont infect or irritate The Most Dangerous Canal on your Body, is Better than Nothing. (In my case, I was able to clean the Majority, and then go to the River to finish things up.)
    On a related note: It may be Convenient to relieve yourself Near or literally, In a Lake, Stream, or River; but if at all possible, Do NOT Do it. As it is really, THE LAST Place you want to do so!
    The Two most Obvious or sensible reasons would be:
    A. Everyone -even the Bad Guys- Treks the Water Ways… So minimalize your exposure.
    B. Feces and Urine are Repugnant to Animals. Which makes this fact of life a Double Edged Sword: On One side, you can attract them To you -which could also be a Trained dog on a Leash, that is leading the Bad Guys Right to you; or it could be a Wild animal that you could do Without in the middle of the night. Then there’s the Other side: You can drive Food AWAY.
    Some things to consider…

    Reply
  46. Learnhowtobeprepared.com says

    January 15, 2016 at 2:30 pm

    Nice job Alan, tackling a stinky subject!

    Reply
  47. StanMan7 says

    January 11, 2016 at 12:49 am

    Best solution, now and then, = wash with water from a Hand Bidet Sprayer. Not only is it 10X cleaner, it’s also healthier(helps with constipation and hemorrhoids) and saves money.

    Reply
    • Learnhowtobeprepared.com says

      January 15, 2016 at 2:31 pm

      Yes, but the real subject of the post is when modern convinces like pressurized water are not available.

      Reply
      • StanMan7 says

        January 16, 2016 at 12:23 am

        Is it now? Pretty sure it was talking about the product Toilet Paper not being available not water. And water is easy to pressurize = put it in a barrel on the roof and voila; water under pressure and able to use a Bidet Sprayer.

        Reply
        • Learnhowtobeprepared.com says

          January 16, 2016 at 10:43 am

          Ha Cleaver! Or a bug sprayer..

          Reply
    • Steven Correa-Owensby says

      January 18, 2016 at 11:10 am

      No disrespect Stan. but in SHTF scenario, one of the Last things a person would want to do is Alert Others to your Resources and Functionability, by placing a Water barrel on your roof, as it would inevitably bring less desirables to your door. You are right though, Pressurized Water would be the Best thing to use.

      Reply
      • StanMan7 says

        January 18, 2016 at 4:03 pm

        If you talking about the SHTF scenario where you have to shoot people who approach your home you are absolutely right, but there are many more possibilities of supply interruptions that are not that drastic.

        Reply
        • Billthewaterman says

          October 10, 2016 at 10:26 pm

          Why not just use a water bottle with a hole in the cap and squeeze the pressurized stream into the “area”?

          Reply
          • Ronsuek says

            November 23, 2017 at 12:58 pm

            Simple excellent idea, Luv it.

          • D, Brown says

            January 26, 2020 at 9:17 pm

            You can reuse a clean dish soap bottle for this. There is also a similar bottle available through medical supply called a peri-bottle; women may have been given one after having a baby – similar to the soap bottle except it has 3-4 smaller holes instead of one, like a mini shower. Depending on the emergency, you may want to save this for #2 if your water supply is limited. Baby wipes can be washed and reused a few times before tossing as well since they are thicker than TP, tissues, and paper towels. Try getting by with less now so that it is less irritating in an emergency 😉

          • Deb Garrett says

            April 13, 2020 at 10:20 pm

            Yeah, I raised my kids that way when I couldn’t afford disposable diapers. I would also tear up an old sheet into long squares to fit the diaper and fold them. When my boys pooped I would just take it and throw it away in the trash. Later they came out with diaper liners. Boy I coulda made a fortune if I would got them patented. lol!

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